i found this online today, and let me tell you, it is very much worth the read. so take the time and read this and hopefully you will be encouraged to go out and help someone today.
as most of you, i gave myself a 30 day blog challenge. and i succeeded all the way til day 21. then i took a trip to the beach for 4 days where we had no internet. so i couldn’t write. then when i got back i had every intention of picking up where i left off. but i didn’t. why you ask? because i fail. i’m a failure. there are so many things in my life that i have just quit. and until now, i was totally ok with it. all the way growing up i have failed at things. piano lessons? quit. chorus? quit. volleyball? quit. relationships? failed. friendships? failed. diets and exercise plans? major fail. i’m a quitter. i bail when things get hard. and i HATE this quality about myself. it has been a secret goal of mine for the past year not to be that girl anymore. but that goal failed too. there were a couple major things in my life this year that got tough. and what did i do? i bailed. there were so many good things in my life that i just let go by and missed out on. and i’m sick and tired of it! so now i’m not letting this be a secret goal anymore. it’s out in the open. and i expect each and every one of you to hold me to this. if i even begin to think about quitting, bailing out, of giving up on something, ANYTHING…you better slap me in the face. because i REFUSE to be that girl anymore!
this is the only thing that is on my mind right now. well maybe not the only thing, but i have been waiting for this trip and now it is finally here. a trip to get away and relax with my best friends. i can not wait to get up at 4am monday morning and make that 8ish hour drive to the beach. these are my days of getting tan, eating seafood, not stressing out, and just having fun. so all of you who have to go to school or work this week, be jealous.
there is not one interesting thing that happened today. literally i just sat around the house and did nothing. i was boring. i’ve realized that this whole being lazy thing is no fun. wow. that only took me a day to realize. i guess i just like to be busy. i feel the need to always be doing something. but on a good note, i’m catching up on all my tv shows rather quickly. which i love. but anyways, i’m sorry i have no good stories to tell, or words of wisdom to give out. but i will leave you with this. tonight, before you fall asleep, pray to God and thank Him for all the good He has done in your life. because often we forget to do that. and for some reason, tonight feels like a great night to be especially thankful. so thank Him.
today i was lazy. i slept in til 10:30. (that’s a big deal for me.) i got up and unpacked a couple of clothes. then picked up the car that was in the shop. then i spent the rest of the day eating and watching survivor, mississippi state baseball, and boy meets world with my brother. then i decided to be even more lazy and lay in my bed while i watched grey’s anatomy. and even though my day might have been a little bit boring, it was exactly what i needed. i have been non-stop busy this year, and i never had time to just be lazy. i’m so glad that i don’t start work for another week and a half. i know i said that i wasn’t going to be lazy anymore. but i meant that in the whole “do things that you need to do, and don’t make other people do them for you” kinda way. so for the next week and a half i’m going to be lazy. in the whole “relaxing” kind of way. if i can learn how to do that considering i’ve gotten really good at being busy and stressed all the time. so here’s a song to inspire all of you to be lazy too. enjoy it, but remember don’t go out of control with the laziness.
today i moved home. and i realized a few things:
1. i’m not as in shape as i used to be. carrying all my stuff up and down stairs is not as easy as it once was.
2. the drive between freed and home is so boring! i hate the fact that i will have to drive that over and over for the next two years.
3. my college career is half way done. it does not feel like it should be halfway over already. feels like not too long ago i was moving in for the first time, but then again so much has happened that it feels like forever.
4. home is not as exciting as school on weeknights. i need everyone here to be in full swing summer so that i can be entertained. i get bored very easily.
5. people go to bed way earlier at home. which i’m perfectly fine with. i love to be an old woman.
6. i regret some of the decisions i’ve made this past year. i wish i would’ve done things when i felt the need to do them instead of being scared of them. i will not be scared anymore. if the opportunity presents itself, i’m just gonna do whatever i feel is right.
7. it’s quiet at bedtime. which i love! i now can fall asleep whenever i want without interruption. which is what i’m going to do right now.
tonight is one of those nights where i have several things on my mind. first off i’m the biggest procrastinators of all time. i put everything off til the last minute and then get super stressed out about it. maybe it’s the fact that i have no motivation considering i’m going home tomorrow, or maybe it’s because i just don’t care about school. but i can not do this again. i like to have a plan, and putting everything off like this doesn’t not help. for the rest of my college career it is my goal to not procrastinate. and please encourage me to actually do this. second, i’m so ready to go to the beach next week with my best friends. it’s all that i keep thinking about. i just want to be there now. i need the beach. i need shrimp. i need a tan. and i wish it was sunday already so that i can be headed there. third, why does timing always suck? i feel like whenever something good is happens it’s always at the wrong time where it can not continue. and when i have something good is going the timing is still not good so you have to end it. but when the timing is perfect, things never happen the way we want. sometimes i wish that i could go through time putting situations exactly where i want them. there are so many things i would’ve done differently. i tend to make a lot of timing mistakes. mostly i think because i’m scared of what could be. i have to stop being scared and take control of my life. if i want something to happen, i’m gonna have to put a little effort in. and trust God more. alright. enough of my thoughts. that’s all i got anyways. goodnight.
tonight is one of those night where i have no idea what i want to write about. so i asked my suitemate, chelsea, for a suggestion. she suggested writing about the butt crack part. so thank you chelsea. that was really helpful, but there is only so much you can say about that.
so instead i’m gonna talk about me. and you’re probably thinking “don’t you that every night?” and the answer would be yes. but tonight i feel like telling you random facts about me. so here we go.
1. i hate to lose. i’m very competitive and it hurts every part of being to lose at anything.
2. i’m obsessed with pasta. i could literally eat it everyday day of my life and be perfectly fine with it.
3. i’m addicted to way too many tv. i make time every week to catch up on my one tree hill, glee, grey’s anatomy, brothers and sisters, and pretty little liars. but that is just the beginning of my addiction.
4. i have found this new love for finger nail polish. for the past couple months i’ve become addicted. i can’t stop buying it. and i have to repaint my nails at least once a week. it’s unhealthy really.
5. i believe that food can help heal any problem. when you’re sad. eat some ice cream. and when you’re happy reward yourself with cake. it’s just the way i look at life.
6. i hate cats. i just can’t stand them. no offense to all you cat lovers out there, but they are just ugly and annoying. and i refuse to ever own one.
7. i love to read. my favorite thing to do in the whole world is to just lay out in the sun with a good book all day long.
8. i love tornadoes. i do not think you understand how badly i want to be a storm chaser. ever since i was a little girl and saw the movie twister, i have wanted to be helen hunt. i want to track these tornadoes and know everything about them. and i want to be able to come up with new technology that can keep us safer from them.
9. i hate fake people. whether it’s your hair, your face, or your attitude, it’s just annoying to the rest of us. just be the real you, and you will have real friends.
10. i can’t live without music. it’s a constant in my life. if i’m in my room or in the car my music is on. and if for some reason i’m in a place where there is none, you can bet i’ll be singing something anyway. it’s like there is a non-stop radio in my head. and i love every second. music has always been there for me through everything that has happened in my life. and i thank God for that.
ok. i’m done talking about my self. actually the whole “talking about myself” thing has always made me uncomfortable. i’m not really even sure why i have this blog. oh well. goodnight everyone. have a blessed day.
let me just start by saying that today is my 15th day in my “30 day challenge.” and let me just say that i’m very impressed with myself for actually sticking to it this far. so i’m giving myself a little pat on the back.
now, i’m going to get a little personal tonight. and trust me, i hate being emotional. but it’s been one of those days. so just bear with me.
i spent this past weekend at home. and i love my family and i love being home. but today i remembered why sometimes i absolutely dread it. it never fails that after i’m home for at least two days that something dramatic will happen. someone in my family will get in a fight, and we’ll say things we shouldn’t and i’ll want to just get in the car and drive. i’ve always felt like an outcast in my family. i’m the one who has different interests, and who gets treated differently. and over the years i’ve just gotten fed up with it. being at home on those bad days when we fight makes me realize how much i’m ready to be on my own. i’m ready for a change of scenery and a change of perspective and attitude towards life. i feel like within my family we have become so content with being upset and fighting with one another. and i hate it, it’s stupid. family shouldn’t be that way. we don’t appreciate each other like we should. but i know that if i were to do something drastic that my mother would be devastated. so it is my goal this summer, which i will be spending at home, to change. i will change the way that they effect me, change the way we act towards one another, and hopefully change our relationship with each other. because i love my family and i don’t want us to fall apart. ever.
you know when you watch those sappy love stories (which i hate to admit that i love to watch) and then you get all depressed because you realize your life will never be like that. well i’ve decided that it’s dumb. i’m not gonna sit by and be one of those depressed girls just because i don’t have that guy in my life at the moment. and all you girls that do feel that way…stop it! it’s not worth it. he will come along when the time is right. trust God to send him your way when you’re ready. and if you think you’ve already met him, and you screwed it up. have faith. maybe it’s just not the right time. or maybe he’s not the right guy. but stop worrying about it. there is so much good that you could put all that time you spend worrying over it into. when it’s right you’ll know. i once heard someone say that “you’ll know when you meet them, or you’ll know when you lose them.” so stop stressing out about it and have a little patience. and in the mean time, learn to love yourself and the life God has blessed you with. because you can’t love someone else if you don’t know how to love yourself first. ok. i know that was a little rant-like. but it is something that has been on my mind and i felt like it needed to be said out loud. so love God and love yourself, and everything will be fine.
